Wait until she asks!

I have this problem that I didn’t realize was a problem until recently. Does that make sense? 

I’ll elaborate. My wife and I have this routine where she gets upset about something that usually makes zero sense to me. So if she is upset, I want to help solve whatever issue has caused whatever problem. Wouldn’t anyone?!? 

This is where I almost always go wrong! I have only just now realized (after like 15 freaking years), that sometimes, she just wants to vent! This shit gets confusing! Mainly because I hate it when Jamie is stressed out. I want to help her. I want to swoop in, solve all of her problems and save the day!  This is apparently extremely naive of me.

I have never even thought about the fact that maybe she just wants to vent and be heard. This never occurred to me. I have always felt that if she is sharing her issue du’jour, she is asking for help. You know, without actually asking for help. Why else would anyone involve another person in their problems? Am I alone on this?

I don’t talk about my problems if I don’t feel that listener can help me. So naturally, I was flattered that she ALWAYS came to me with “problems.”

This turned out to be an actual problem. Jamie would talk about something she was upset about, and I would try to solve this equation. Nearly always creating more problems than before. 

I feel bad about this and want to apologize for my interference. I think I have failed in the practice of common sense. This is difficult for me to admit. I always bitch about people who appear to have no common sense and now I have been knocked down to the ground level. Probably for the best. 

I’ll try to do better and just ignore other people’s problems from now on. 

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One thought on “Wait until she asks!

  1. Oh, no. You can’t ignore the problem, even if the problem is presented to you in a confusing and jacked-up way. You have to figure out which of the 46,000 possible responses is the right one, and you have to do so in the 3 milliseconds you are allowed to make a decision. It’s one of the fundamental laws of relationships… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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