The Grass Is Dead!

We are all unique.

That’s a powerful statement, right? What does it mean? Why does it hold such importance? I dunno. I just know that when I read it… I feel something. Huh.

No two people are truly identical, even identical twins. Oh sure, they may look the same, but deep down each one will have individual beliefs or likes. And why is it that we are expected to act or behave in ways that thrust all of us into certain “social corners” where we get treated the same? This sounds like another one of my “I hate everyone” rants, I know. That’s because it is. Oh but don’t take this personally. I mean that.

Here’s my point… I am not social. Kind of a roundabout way to get there. But you get what I’m trying to convey, don’t you? I feel that people try to pressure me into doing things that I really do not want to do, all because of some ridiculous socially acceptable constructs that have been used to determine what is “normal” or “right.” Why in the hell can’t I determine for myself what I like without being analyzed or labeled “crazy?”

I am perfectly happy sitting quietly, scratching out a rough draft or reading the news. Instead, I am expected not to drink solo, or refrain from throat punching someone when I have decided that is what I want to do! Social etiquette is so demanding!

I swear that I am barely surviving some level of high-functioning autism. I suspect Asperger’s Syndrome. I am not joking about this. There are times that I seriously embarrass myself because I have to quickly think of a way to cover up the fact that I don’t understand what the hell just happened. So now people are watching and I have finally clued in (a bit too late) that I managed to miss what allegedly is a “social que.” And then sometimes I just don’t give a damn what people think and I will abruptly speak my mind. That is when I am promptly informed of my “rudeness.” Excuse me, but when did pointing out an obvious flaw in a system become rude? Perhaps I should have allowed the lady at the counter to continue waving the bar code over the scanner, in the exact same manner, at the exact same height and angle, for eternity. IF IT DIDN’T REGISTER THE FIRST FEW TIMES, THEN WHY THE HELL WOULD IT REGISTER THE NEXT TEN?!?!

All I’m saying is that sometimes I prefer home. I prefer staying in, reading, writing or just loafing. That’s all.