I have been putting this off but I think both of my readers are ready for a harsh dose of reality, lol!
There are some things that make it seem as though I both love and hate everyone equally. Well, those things are real and accurate. How is this possible? Who the hell knows, but it is!
So without further ado:
1. I am seriously deficient when it comes to tact!
Seriously… I have about as much tact as a billy-goat. People often think I am rude or disinterested when in fact I just have zero capability to detect social cues or feign sensitivity to your particular issues. For this, I apologize. Really. I don’t mean to offend.
2. I absolutely hate it when I receive a text message written in code!
So this crap really pisses me off! Sending text messages that use way too many emojis and shorthand or acronyms or whatever the hell these three-letter phrases are is stupid! I realize what year this is, but I text like I would write an email. Which is probably why I hate texting. Come to think of it, I hate communicating in general. However, I am not totally oblivious to the fact that this is just what will happen, so even though I hate it, I have accepted it as the impending doom that it inevitably is.
3. Emails that are written like a text message.
See above and just swap texting for emails!
4. I hate lists! (The irony has not escaped me)
I understand that lists are useful for getting a vast amount of information in a short amount of time, but come on people! If you hate reading, just don’t read at all! I read more than I write. Why? Because I love reading! Oh, who am I kidding? One of my guiltiest pleasures is visiting Buzzfeed on occassion, but I still love the silence and act of just sitting quietly and reading. Lists are too short. Except for AFI’s 100 Laughs! Short title, looooong list!
And last but not least…
5. I have NO IDEA what I am doing!!!
I have posted about this before but people think I’m kidding! I mean, I know how to tie my shoes and ride a bike, but beyond that, I’m clueless! Like the time Tom Hanks woke up as a grown up and had to do grown up shit… yup! That’s me EVERY day!
I hope you got a laugh out of this short list. There are more than five things but you’ll have to come back to learn more!
The Grass Is Dead! 