Slap-o’rama

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Have you ever felt like you just had your shit together? Only to be shit on in such an epic manner that you were left in a daze?

Yeah, so I was rockin’ and rollin’ along recently. Had all my shit together. Like, ‘gathered all my shit up, stuffed it into a suitcase and carried it around’ together.

And I think the Karma Gods could sense this. Oh what a way those bastards have with me. I should have known better. Anytime life appears to be this easy, something’s gotta give. Well for me at least.

I was doing stuff my way, experincing minimal resistance and actually started believing in myself! That has never happened before. The confidence thing, I mean. I am seriously no stranger to general fuckery.

But this isn’t the first time, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. Each time I learn. This go-round was quite enjoyable.  I learned self-confidence. And know what? I like that shit!  Is this what those “jocks, cheerleaders and cool kids” in school experienced? Wow.

Had I known this feeling as a teenager, walking the halls of that ass-world called high school, who knows what might’ve been!  Probably for the best, really. I’ve witnessed first-hand what happens to some folks who were knocked off the top of the food chain that early in life. It’s not pretty.

At least I had the opportunity to grow with my meager confidence and learn to map it out along the way. I’m not likely to mow people down with automatic assault weapons when I don’t get my way. I just have a teeny-tiny desire to drop a stack of cash on a Judge’s desk, walk out of his chambers, then eagerly and methodically, commit a string of minor assaults.

“BITCH-SLAPS ALL AROUND!!!” I would cry gleefully as I dash from office to office, smacking only those who are most deserving. Then, at the end of my slap-o’rama, I would return to the Judge’s office and calmly wait to be lead away in cuffs, smiling all the way to jail.

P. S.

” I’ll never give up, you know why? Because FUCK YOU! That’s why!!!”

-is what I would like to write to Karma. But I’m not going to. I am bigger than that.

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