Listen, I don’t know what I am doing. Does that make sense? I have been pretending to be an adult all this time, but really I’m just a kid trapped in an adult’s body! Only I’m not nearly as adorable as Tom Hank’s character in the movie “Big.”
My point here is that I used to do cool stuff with people who let me hang out with them and we were good like that. What in the actual fuck happened?
Growing up in various boroughs in and around Dallas, I wasn’t keenly aware of my social status until I was around 11 years old. It was then that I realized exactly how poor my family was. I just always assumed that drive-by shootings, german cockroaches and used drug needles were problems that everyone dealt with. I never… Continue reading Being Poor Used to Suck
I was always suspicious that my kids were weird, but now I have confirmed this shit. My own fault really. I’m pretty sure it comes from my parents. I walked into the kitchen a while back and witnessed what I thought was a sweet moment. I observed my daughter (Maggie) standing and staring into space,… Continue reading When do I call in the “White Coats?”
So I was carting the kiddos to school when the topic of heated car seats came up (our current grocery-hauler has none). While reminiscing about the luxury of having”bun warmers” the following conversation ensued: Me: “I miss heated seats. They were my favorite on cold mornings. The next car we get will most definitely have… Continue reading Heated Seats and Other Mysteries.
I want to talk about safety. Specifically, child safety. I know about this topic, not because I am an expert safety analyst. I know about this because according to statistics, I should not have survived my childhood. Hell, none of us should have. Allow me to elaborate. My mother has told me numerous times about… Continue reading Baby Safety 101